Unrealistic Marriage Expectations
Marriage, often regarded as the union of two souls and families, has increasingly become a negotiation heavily cantered around material gains. This is a topic I feel compelled to write about, based on my personal experiences and observations. Society, family pressure, and the ticking biological clock often push men like me into the labyrinth of matrimonial websites, a space where traditional matchmaking intersects with modern aspirations.
What I’ve witnessed there,
however, is disheartening. It’s not just the process that seems flawed but the
expectations that many women and their families bring to the table.
Let me give you a glimpse. On
numerous profiles of women aged around 25, I see a common demand: a groom
earning an annual salary of at least ₹25 lakh. In some cases, the expectation
shoots up to ₹70 lakh or even ₹1 crore. Now, let’s put this into perspective, these
demands often come from women who are themselves simple graduates, without a
lucrative career, or, in some cases, without any career at all. It baffles me
to think about what they are offering in return for such a monumental
expectation.
This isn’t about diminishing
anyone’s self-worth or ambitions. Every individual has the right to dream of a
better life. But when these dreams transform into rigid checklists that revolve
solely around monetary worth, it begs the question: Is salary the sole
criterion for a successful marriage?
I encountered one such incident
that left a sour taste in my mouth. A relative of a prospective bride, someone
I had been introduced to via family connections asked me for my last month’s
salary slip. Imagine the absurdity of being reduced to a piece of paper that
declares your financial standing. It wasn’t about compatibility, shared goals,
or even mutual respect. It boiled down to numbers and nothing else.
What concerns me most is not just
the unrealistic expectations but the underlying mindset they reflect. By
demanding such high salaries from men of the same age group, these families
seem to ignore the hard realities of life. Most men in their late 20s or early
30s are still climbing the professional ladder. They are striving to establish
themselves, often burdened with student loans, family responsibilities, and the
cost of living in urban areas. To expect them to earn crores at such a stage of
life is not only impractical but also deeply unfair.
This brings me to a fundamental
question: What is the foundation of a successful marriage? Isn’t it about
mutual understanding, shared responsibilities, and the ability to grow
together? When did it become an economic transaction where one party is evaluated
based on their earning potential, while the other offers little beyond a sense
of entitlement?
Marriage should be about building
a life together, not finding someone who has already built a life that meets
your checklist. It’s disheartening to see how materialism has crept into a
sacred bond that should be about love, trust, and companionship. When families
prioritize salary over qualities like kindness, empathy, and compatibility,
they reduce marriage to a cold, calculated deal.
I’m not saying that financial
stability isn’t important. It absolutely is. But there’s a difference between
seeking stability and demanding opulence. A man earning ₹25 lakh or ₹1 crore
may not necessarily guarantee a happy marriage. What about his values? His
ability to handle challenges? His willingness to support his partner
emotionally and mentally?
On the other hand, it’s worth asking what women and their families are bringing to the table when making such lofty demands. Are they equally invested in the man’s growth and well-being? Are they willing to contribute to building a life together, or are they merely looking for a free ride into a life of luxury?
This culture of unrealistic
expectations not only places undue pressure on men but also distorts the very
essence of marriage. It creates a transactional dynamic where both parties lose
out on the chance to form a genuine connection.
As someone who has faced these
issues firsthand, I can’t help but feel frustrated. It’s not just about me;
it’s about the countless others who are judged and dismissed based on arbitrary
benchmarks. It’s about the young men who are left feeling inadequate, no matter
how hard they work, and the young women who tie their self-worth to the
financial status of their future spouse.
Perhaps it’s time we, as a
society, redefined what we value in a partner and in a marriage. Let’s move
beyond the numbers and look at the person behind the profile. Let’s prioritize
qualities that truly matter in the long run: integrity, kindness, resilience,
and the willingness to grow together.
Marriage should not be about
ticking off a checklist of materialistic demands. It should be about finding
someone who stands by you through thick and thin, someone who respects you for
who you are, not just what you earn.
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